Standing at the threshold
“Standing on the shore
between: what was, what will be
waves lap... endlessly.”
Standing at the threshold
From the Artist’s Woodshed Retreat
Threshold
I stand here, foot planted on stone, carving the shape of a crane’s foot on its pedestal. The base is split in two. Light stone, shaped to the form of sand. Dark stone, polished, to reflect the dark of the calm sea. A liminal space between the solidity of the past, and the unknown of the future.
The crane’s foot faces east, toward the sea, toward dawn.
As I carved, I tried to smell the salt air, hear the surf, taste the possibility of turning toward new light… and the sculpture emerged.
Walking the question
I’ve been talking with leaders around the world who, like me, are quietly struggle with this… the challenge of letting themselves be fully seen and heard.
In our conversations, they often say things like, “I just don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” or “I can’t say that out loud… it would rock the boat.”
I’ve been reading the research on this, and it echoes what I see in my work. Psychologists call it alexithymia when we can’t easily name what we feel, and studies show it’s strongly linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety.
I think of the executives I’ve coached who are trained to identify and solve problems logically, yet can’t find words for their own inner life.
Where I grew up, in the midwest of America, the culture ingrained in our minds the tenet of:
‘if you can’t say something nice, you don’t say anything at all’.
And while that may have kept the peace (and, perhaps, also had the intention of encouraging one to see the good, not the bad in a situation), when it became an unconscious programming, it resulted in self-censorship: and a habit of holding back what needs to be said to keep the peace. But this habit can be broken…. and it comes up constantly in leadership coaching.
Some of my coaching counterparts are leaders who have caught themselves not speaking their insight when in executive meetings, or managers who find it difficult to share concerns with their teams, or people across the spectrums who avoid disagreement for fear of being labeled “disagreeable”!
But the research confirms what we feel intuitively: habits of self-censorship increases the risk of burnout, depression, and even physical illness.
And when emotions go unexpressed, they don’t disappear. They sit in the body (in tension, in sleeplessness, in irritability), or they show up as reactivity. When leaders start reflecting, journaling, or finding ways to express what’s been locked inside, they often tell me they feel physically lighter. They make clearer decisions.
They lead better...
And they are able to be more present.
“Life is happening right now, and it’s worth showing up for”
From the Insightful Path
That’s why I seek out experiences that help to expand my horizons. That help to open me to new insights, and effectively ‘wake me up’… for these are the experiences and conversations and moments that make me feel vividly alive.
It’s a way of reminding myself what it feels like to be present, to be fully here.
Turning toward dawn
When I think about the leaders I work with, I see how silence isn’t just personal, it’s systemic.
On the surface, not speaking up can feel like it keeps things running smoothly. A team meeting stays polite. A boardroom avoids uncomfortable conflict. An entire company culture can hum along for years without naming the very issues that are draining its energy.
But eventually, you feel the cost. Teams lose trust. Innovation slows. People disengage. It’s as though the organization itself is holding its breath.
And this isn’t just about workplaces. If you zoom out, society works the same way.
When we exclude voices ( by design or by fear ) we may avoid short-term discomfort, but we start to ache collectively. Our shared organism begins to suffer.
The flame of ‘now’
From the Artist’s Woodshed Studio
The good news? There is a way forward, and it begins right now. The present moment is the place where leaders choose whether to stay silent or to invite truth. Whether to maintain a ‘brittle calm’ or to create space for real dialogue.
“Grounded”
From the Artists’ Woodshed Studio
The present stone
This base (half dark, half light) is a metaphor for the present moment.
When I light a candle here, it only burns now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just now.
This is what I encourage leaders to practice: tuning in to the moment so fully that they can meet what is real… the unspoken tension in the room, the unvoiced concern of a colleague, their own unacknowledged emotion, and respond with presence.
It’s not easy work. But it’s the work that allows transformation. Being here, in this moment, is what makes us capable of choosing appreciation and taking action.
An invitation
If you are a leader, try this simple reflection exercise this week. Take 10 minutes, somewhere quiet, and journal on these questions.
Where am I silencing myself right now?
Think of a situation (personal or public) where you’ve held back your voice to avoid conflict, discomfort, or judgment.What would it look like to speak from the heart?
Write down what you would say if you trusted that your voice mattered enough to say it aloud...What is at stake if I stay silent?
Consider what might happen (to you, to your community, to society) if this silence continues.What small action can I take this week?
Maybe it’s sharing your view with one person. Maybe it’s creating something (a letter, a post, a work of art) that puts your truth into the world.
Remember: your voice is part of the world’s immune system. When you speak with presence, you help your community heal, grow, and stay healthy.
If you want to discover your own insights into this, and other leadership challenges, reach out and set up a time to discover how coaching could help you!
James Samana
Founder: Insightful Path
